A ZIMBABWEAN CHRISTMAS

Many among my readers do not even know WHAT a ‘Zimbabwean’ is let alone know WHO a ‘Zimbabwean’ is. The name denotes a nationality or citizenship of a little teapot-shaped country in the lower parts of the continent with the cursed name of ‘Africa’. Sometime in the recent past I swallowed a bitter truth that research consistently showed that more than 30% of the American pupils did not know that Africa was not a country but a continent. For the few learned ones of this broad group who dwell in the shrines of the  learned ones (the world of books) the country of Zimbabwe can at least be remembered as the last country in the alphabetical order of all demographic groups in the entire world who brave it to call themselves ‘nations’.

All accounts and analyses point to the mug-shot of a country with a dictatorial leader who pisses over the whole nation just as the despot kings of old massacred the peasantry in the dark ages. Without going into the economics, a conclusion can be reached through a transparent audit of the dismal state of the economy to the effect that the country is a failed state run by imbeciles and war-mongers who have total and demonic ignorance of how a nation is supposed to be run.The people in the high offices always turn up to work marveled by the ‘LUCK’ of having been appointed by the great leader himself into a leather-laden office in the nominal cabinet. The long and short of it is that Zimbabwe is a country on the continent called Africa in the Southern hemisphere of the planet called Earth. This particular country is led by an imperial king called Bob just as North Korea have their ‘self-omnipresent’ king called Kim. Mugabe has made a cesspit of the nation and the country continues to wither on in the harsh climate of Antarctic-cold politics that defy even the summer solstice of the little Sub-Saharan nation.

Zimbabweans are a peaceful (at worst cowardly) group of dark-colored individuals who know where they came from but do not care where they are going. History itself has betrayed them into thinking that war will always be the most loyal remembrance of their existence. Many died fighting for a black Commander-in-Chief but an equal number if not more of the survivors have lived to ask the infinite question of WHY that has continually been banished from all pursuits of an individual’s mind to state the obvious.Zimbabwe does not have a President, nay it has an absolute monarch called THE Mugabes. Every intellectual who is worth his word will testify to the fact that in the midst of all the chaos in the country a consistent pattern of conferring power from the king to the queen regardless of due inheritance of the subordinates (Mnangagwa has no blood-relational links to the Mugabe dynasty making him an outsider) the name Mugabe will forever prevail. The ‘queen’ said so herself a the national shrine for deceased heroes conveniently called the National Heroes Acre. She said, “Mugabe will continue to rule even from his grave.” At face value this might be taken to mean that Grace is a delusional schizophrenic harlot who wants to gain personal capital over the king himself just like the biblical harlot Jezebel.

It is absolutely impossible for one to express an innocent view of a typical family Christmas holiday without first venting their anger on why they got themselves in this hell-hoe in the first place. The president is always sound asleep everywhere he goes, his minions tear at each other like savages even in his presence, his illiterate wife continues to bitch around with an attitude of a Hollywood diva, all his new friends in his own country are his grandchildren and still millions wonder why their Christmas seems to be more of a burden than a celebration in comparison to the stories they are told of life on the other side by their fortunate relatives who  ‘made it out’. Life on the other side is largely devoid of common-place nuisances such as power cuts, water disconnection, inaccessibility to one’s own money, fear of seeing a reflector vest of any kind and other nuances that pretty much everyone else take for granted – hence being called ‘human rights’.

In earnest truth Christmas for a Zimbabweans depends on where you spend it. Christmas for Zimbabweans abroad is definitely a MERRY CHRISTMAS indeed but Christmas IN Zimbabwe is just another Christmas whose appointed time on the Roman calendar happens to fall on the 25th of December.

 

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